care enough to care

I'm constantly told I have to stop taking work home with me. My job as a youth leader is very emotional. And if you've ever met me, you know how emotional I can be. Sometimes I feel like I carry the weight of these kids around with me. The abuse in their homes, their doubts, their insecurities. I take it all home. I feel like I've borrowed Santa's sack to drag around sorrow behind me everywhere I go. I feel the weight of them with every step.

The natural disasters recently haven't helped with this at all. I donated money to Haiti relief and then added them to my Santa sack. I know empathy is a good thing, but there has to be a boundary, right? So I began trying the new concept of "care, but don't care TOO much". I began breathing a little easier and walking seemed a little less like trudging.

And then Chile happened.

And Pittsburgh. And Belize. And seeing homeless folks in this blizzarding weather. And orphans everywhere. And people without clean water for heavens sake!

Suffering, injustice. This is nothing new. But that doesn't mean we stop caring. That does not mean we stop responding.

I think there is a medium between the Santa sack and not caring TOO much. There has to be. I think it's decently healthy to take the weight of the world home with you. It keeps things in perspective. Like right now, I'm waiting tables at a restaurant to save money for when I get married in 3 months. When I remember the bigger picture, I don't worry as much about where I'm going to live or where Caleb and I will end up, because when it comes down to it, even below the poverty line in the United States, we are still in the richest 5% of people in the world. And it's not about being rich, anyhow. The reality is that Caleb and I will be just fine in our minimum wage jobs. When I don't care TOO much, I get frustrated when I watch shows like the OC and the Hills that my life will never be as luxurious or as comfortable as theirs. Who hasn't felt that way?

But I don't want to live comfortably. I think if you're comfortable, you're probably not responding. There is a whole world out there crying for people who can do something to stand. Move. Go. Do.

So we will. Minimum wage paycheck and all. Because people were made for people. We need each other. You were made a white American and they were made Haitians and Mexicans and Belizians on purpose. With purpose. For purpose.

For each other.