Sparrow.

It's only two months into graduate school, and I'm already asking why I voluntarily did this to myself.

Getting back into school is hard after you've been out for a few years.  It's even harder when you're commuting 2 hours to class and back and an hour to your internship and back.  Thankfully I like to drive.  I turn on 93.7 and spend my mornings listening to the Hawk and Tom show.  I'm starting to feel like we're old friends who catch up in the mornings over coffee.  Torture Tuesday is my favorite - this week they put 6 bags of popcorn in a microwave for 30 minutes.  Then something happens on the show like the microwave door exploding off and I snap out of it and realize I'm my coffee is in a white travel mug and I'm on the highway with only my oversized school bag to accompany me in the passenger seat.

As you can imagine, I have a lot of time to think while I'm in the car.  Sometimes this is refreshing.  I crack the window and breathe the cool morning air into my throat.  Sometimes, it's torture.  Imagine being left with your own thoughts in a car for four hours a day.  That's why you're always on Facebook, or Pinterest, or reading this blog.  You don't want to have to sit with your thoughts.  It's okay though.  We're all like that.

I spend a lot of time wondering what I'll do when I'm out of school.  I know - I always tell people to be where their feet are.  But I can't help but wonder what path I'll pursue.  The beautiful thing about getting a Masters in Social Work is the incredibly vast career options.  Want to work with kids?  You can.  Never want to see a kid?  You don't have to.  You can work at a desk or in a circle doing group therapy.  You can write new policies or improve old ones.  Military, homeless, disabled, children, elderly, hungry, rich, poor, families, orphans.  There are so many different choices.  It's slightly intimidating.

But when I think about all the opportunities this experience will present to advance His Kingdom further, I start to think two years isn't so bad.  Research papers aren't so bad.  Maybe I even like some of this stuff.  I start to think what I do is not as important as why I started in the first place.

I start to think, and then I start to remember.

You know that feeling you got deep in your insides when you just knew that you knew without question you had to do something?  Whatever it is that you do.  That you've claimed as the thing you will be responsible for.

I will account for this.  For them.  I have seen this and I can never not see it again.  Something has to be done.  Said.  I have to.  There's just no other way.  I wouldn't be who I was made to be if I don't chase after this.

Remember that feeling for a second.

If I were sitting next to you right now, I'd whisper, "You were created for this."