'Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus

I got really upset in church today.

We were late, and it was my fault.  The DVR demanded my attention this morning as Caleb and I caught up on Tosh.O and reruns of Project Runway I had recorded.  I leisurely ate my Lucky Charms and glanced back and forth between the brand new, unopened sewing machine in my closet and the incredible designs prancing down the runway.

I've got to set that thing up.  Someday.

Needless to say, I got in the shower late, and we barely made it in time to catch the last few verses of one of Caleb's favorite worship songs - "10,000 reasons" by Matt Redman.

I hate missing the worship songs, I whispered.  We were so late we didn't even make coffee before we left.

Tragic.

I got even more upset when I opened the program and saw that not only had we missed the music, but we missed really good music.  "'Tis So Sweet" and "Blessed Assurance" were on the set-list.  I so love hymns.  They are true, naked melodies holding hands with vintage lyrics.  Stirs my soul.

I soon fell into the words God was speaking through the pastor.  The church is doing a series called, "Whispers From God" on listening and discerning the Lord's voice.  On the surface, the sermon may have seemed elementary.

But when hearing and discerning the Voice that speaks stars into being becomes no big deal for you, you let me know.

As the pastor spoke and the Spirit gently pressed against my constantly criticizing heart (I have one of those, you know.), I realized this was the first time I had been disappointed that I was late for church.  Usually, I'd be completely okay with it.  You see, I really don't care for going to church.

Shocker.  Not really.

For the past 5 years, going to church for me was part of going to work.  I never could worship fully, bare my sin openly, and live in the tension I constantly felt between the Word and world.  You can blame that on me.  I'm okay with that.  It's just how it was.

But working in a church and being the church simultaneously is really hard sometimes.  You have to be an example and "live above reproach" (whatever that means), but at the same time, you know you're a broken vessel.  Maybe I simply wasn't mature enough for it.

But today, I sat in church and the Scripture saturated me.  This wasn't all to my credit of course.  The Spirit moves when the Spirit moves.  But I think part of you, and I don't know what part, has to be open to hearing the Lord speak.

You won't recognize Truth if you have no idea what it sounds like.  What He sounds like.

I could choose be incredibly critical of the church I'm going to.  It appears as a big production.  Big stage.  Couple thousand attendees at a given service on Sundays.  I've been going there a few months and have never met the pastor.  And the kicker?  They hold youth group during the church services, which drives me to the ends of the earth.

I've quit jobs over that mess.

But you know what?  I don't want to be.  I'm choosing not to be.  And God doesn't want me to be.

God is moving in that place.  The pastor preaches Truth.  I've watched people get out of their chairs and proclaim to believe in and accept Jesus for the first time.  It's beautiful.  They increased their budget for next year by a MILLION dollars for the sole purpose of building an orphanage for child slaves rescued from rock quarries in India.  They are working with a network of Indian pastors who will take the reigns of everything.  They're doing it "right".

I believe God is healing my overly critical heart.  I was mad because I was late for church.  Are you hearing me?  That's just wild.  When church ends, I don't want to get up.  And it's not because the pastor is some fancy speaker or because the band is flashy.  It's because God is pressing into me, and I don't want to leave the place where I know He may be hanging out.

Maybe He'd press into you too if you asked.  I'd put my money on Him.