Sometimes in church, the tears just well up out of nowhere. I don't mean for it to happen. They bubble like they've been waiting for the right opportunity to escape in a place where someone might understand. They gain victory over my tired eyelids and then I can't sing anymore. Today was one of those days.
The band was singing "Our Savior has come! Hallelujah! Our Savior has come!" And I was overwhelmed.
Usually when I find myself choked up with the presence of the Lord, I feel like I need to say something. It's like when you're around someone whose presence is so great and you just feel like before they run out the door, because you aren't sure when they'll be back, you should have something to say. Something honorable to ask for or repentance to seek. I surely have a lot of that. I started blubbering questions and statements in my head. Ones of peace and trust and forgiveness. I meant all of them, but I would have preferred to just stand there and be in the moment, let His goodness and mercy wash over me and allow Him to take all the reasons why and just captivate me with Himself.
"Be still. I see you."
And that was that.
I stopped the forced words I felt like I had to say and just stood there echoing in my heart what my tears wouldn't let me say with my mouth.
Our Savior has come.